for dummies

top tips to NOT excel an interview:

(bet you can’t find this on google) lol

1. attempt to shake hands after wiping your cough when you enter the room.

2. keep using a her to address him or vice versa.

3. talk like you don’t have a brain.

4. talk like you don’t have a tongue.

5. wear shorts or sarong to interview.

6. don’t shave for 2 weeks.

7. don’t brush your teeth for 2 weeks.

8. or better, don’t shower for 2 weeks.

9. wear a (i love bestiality) tag.

10. wear a mask and say that you are suspected to have H1N1.

11. ask for an interval and finish a can of beer in front of the panel. offer them some while you’re at it.

12.  apply a butterfly tattoo on your face if you’re a man or a fiery dragon if you’re a girl.

13. go to the washroom every 5 minutes during the interview session.

14. accidentally drop a 10 lbs hammer when you pass them your resume.

15. wear a penis shaped tie.

16. greet the interviewer wearing a darth vader mask. 

17. ask your friends to call you 10 times during the interview and put on an indecent ringtone.

18. dye your hair fully pure baby pink.

any more creative ideas? :P

this is so random. lol.